He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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