i don't like sucking hair
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
