My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
