Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
