There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
