One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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