I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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