People in love make me want to vomit
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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