I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
