It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
