Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
