lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
