I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
