Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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