So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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