I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
