its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
