Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
