I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
