Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
