well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
