There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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