Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
