thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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