Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
