They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
