your parents love me but you hate me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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