Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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