it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Small penises have feelings too.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
