So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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