I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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