I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
