i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
