Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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