At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
