is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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