I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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