you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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