Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
