He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
