So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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