I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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