Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is this like a preordered booty call?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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