That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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