Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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