brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
