Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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