he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
