My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
