Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
