How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
being pregnant is like rehab
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
