did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.