we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker