Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.