I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It was confusing and full of hummus
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.