I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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