it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
