Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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