so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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