In the future we'll all be gay
nutella sex= disaster
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
