he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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