My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
