hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
