Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
