i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
And then he peed in my hair
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