Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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