don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
