i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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