loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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